Listen with an Open Heart
Dan Gregory of Bend, OR, USA
The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace. -Numbers 6:24-26
One of the most challenging and important lessons I’m learning is to avoid defensiveness when someone points out I am wrong or I have hurt them. My default stance was that good or even neutral intentions couldn’t possibly have a negative impact. I was a good person. As long as I was mindful not to be intentionally cruel, callous, or dismissive, I couldn’t be faulted if they were hurt.
Similarly, as a well-versed student of history, culture, science, literature, politics, human behavior, and relationships, I appreciated new information but felt little could (should?) adjust my basic framework. I could speak theoretically on behalf of others, confident that my own experience could represent theirs. My mind was made up on just about any subject, with a smidge of wiggle room for good measure.
And then people near and dear to me would say, “Actually, Dan, have you considered…?” and “Dan, that really hurt when you…” My defensiveness would rear up and I’d try to rationalize. I didn’t like feeling imperfect or unaware or uncaring.
But I had a choice. Each time, I could plug my ears, cross my arms and find a way to deflect, undermine, or paper over. Or I could pause and say, “What am I being asked to hear in this moment?”
Pausing long enough to receive new insight or simply listen in a different way led to lots of hard questions and self-searching. It’s uncomfortable and sometimes disorienting. It can make things awkward as I try to fumble through complexity. I often want to fix things or say, “Yeah, but…” to absolve myself. But when I live out my deepest values of centering relationship and growing as a person, it’s ultimately worth it.
I don’t have this all figured out. I still fail spectacularly from time to time-and in smaller ways a lot of the time. Defensiveness still rises up, and yes, I do like to think that my opinions and approaches are well-grounded and are becoming more synthesized as I go. But here’s what I’m beginning to know: I’m better when I listen with an open heart. And I’m better when I let that listening change my action.
Prayer Phrase
“Led by the Holy Spirit, we work with God and others to restore peace (shalom) to creation” (https://www.cofchrist.org/enduring-principles).
Spiritual Practice
Embodying God’s Shalom
Find a way to express and embody God’s shalom. Begin by prayerfully listening to your longing for peace and wholeness. Become silent and imagine you can hear the groaning of the Earth’s people, nations, and creatures. Prayerfully open yourself to God’s yearning for peace and the divine vision of shalom.
What images, feelings, and words come to you? What prayer for peace comes to you from your time of listening? Speak or write this prayer. What act of justice, kindness, healing, or peacemaking does God invite you to consider this day?
Today’s Prayer for Peace
Engage in a daily practice of praying for peace in our world. Click here to read today’s prayer and be part of this practice of peace.
